Hurricane Helene and Unlovability
My dear friend and fellow Ecodharma teacher Eden Tull had left California a few years ago to escape wildfires. She thought Asheville area of North Carolina will be safe from climate disasters. Last week, a Category 4 hurricane Helene hit her town. Due to rising flood waters around her house, her home collapsed on her physical body last Friday. Their city received no warnings or evacuation notices: climate scientists knew about the overall path of this hurricane, but they don’t have ways to decide which areas on the path of hurricane will get flooded. My friend Eden barely survived but lost her home and 99% of her belongings. You can see an 11 minute video of the aftermath of that collapse here.
When painful events happen, there is a “mother” part of me that rushes to help. I reached out to Eden’s mother and other friends. Together we are supporting Eden in all the ways we can. Our love, Eden conveys, along with years of Buddhist practice are helping her navigate the catastrophe. If you have capacity to make a financial donation, please help Eden and Mark rebuild their lives through this GoFundMe campaign.
A second “righteous” part of me feels rage. What are U.S. political leaders doing? Sending military aid of billions of dollars to foreign countries to drop bomps of civilians and children but our country’s disaster management agency (FEMA) doesn’t have enough funding! Civilians, neighbors and local faith based organizations are offering mutual aid to people who have no power, no roads, no fuel, no clean water or might have even lost loved ones to this disaster. Federal agencies were practially absent in the first few days. Social media was reporting the truth but there wasn’t enough coverage in the mainstream channels.
A third part of me, Climate scientist and Ecodharma teacher in me, feels afraid of more chaos and collapse. These hurricanes are becoming more frequent and more intense - just as scientists have been predicting. Our leaders are too distracted — trying to protect democracy and their own entanglement in late-stage capitalism and modernity. We are not starting the radical transformation that is needed to avert more climate disasters and large scale collapse.
And, a private “child” part of me felt a bit of deep personal existential fear. For a while. Deep fear of being alone when such disasters hit me or my family. Who will organize a fundraiser for me if I lose my home? Will anyone offer me their home when my house collapses on me. Who will love me? Am I lovable? Please understand this is not rational fear. I know we have a large community in India and in the U.S. that carely deeply for me. My experience is that such traumatized or abandoned “child” voices exist in almost all human beings. Trauma induces shame and unlovability in us.
It is these quiet fearful parts that needs to learn to surrender and trust life against all odds and in the middle of all the chaos. The spiritual revolution that is needed to support climate action will come from trusting life. From naming our fears as a community and from melting and composting our traumas, together. When we have faced our fears, heard our internal cries, we can help others more fully and we can show up for more courageous climate actions. We have to truly feel lovable and held by the universe to face climate crisis.
Do you trust life even in the middle of chaos and violence?